Changing The "Mind Channel" On Your Radio

In a recent session with a client, we discussed his excitement to be moving into a new apartment.  What was amazing was the fact he had yet to be inside the apartment!  He had never stepped foot inside the door and it did not matter.  It did not matter if it was too big or too small, whether the paint matched his furniture, whether the carpet was nice, or if he had a tub versus a standing shower.  He had already made the decision that he was going to be happy because he had a place of his own and it was new.  What a fantastic outlook on life that each of us can learn from.

One of the many great entities I have learned over the last five to six years is that there is a choice.  Each day there is a choice to be one way or the other – either happy or miserable.  We all face many challenges and trials each day, but how you choose to respond is what you have control over.  Do not allow the negative thought train to gain momentum.  Yes, traffic may be bad, your boss may tack on additional work to your already overloaded agenda, but do not allow such circumstances to rule you.  Each day I talk with people who allow their day to be ruined because their plan did not go accordingly, somebody did not respond to their Facebook message quick enough, or several other silly reasons.  Dwelling on thoughts such as these is a guarantee of a lousy day.

Happiness is something that you have to want and we all have things to be happy about.  You may just have to a make a slight mind readjustment.  In the last post, I wrote about being grateful for what you do have in life.  Adding the “gratefulness” to the adjustment and you certainly have a good start to change.  For example, I do not think a day has passed that I have not heard someone express how miserable they are in their job.  However, have a quick chat with the nearly 10% of the population that is unemployed – listen to what life is life without a paycheck and it typically leads to being grateful for even having a job!  Recently a good friend was venting about her family’s home being too large, it was too much work to keep clean.  Sit and chat with a family that lost their home to foreclosure or a family of five living in a one bedroom apartment and the realization can begin.   Most often, happiness lies in your perspective on life.

Quite often I recall a moment from about ten years ago (in my active addiction). I had been distraught about a bunch of nothing and I could feel the “pi$$ed off” expression on my face.  I can still feel that.  I realized that it took much more effort to keep that expression, much like the effort it takes to constantly dwell on the negatives in life.  I can promise you one thing – if you use half of that exertion for the flip side, for looking at the good, you will be astounded of how differently your life will begin a transformation.  It is just a minor adjustment that leads to better opportunity, new people, healthier living, and just an all-around better attitude.

I invite you to try something tomorrow morning: Set your “mind dial” on the positive channel.  Make the decision to start the day in a good mood.  Give thanks for being alive!  Whatever happens throughout the course of the day, do not allow your mind to be dependent on the circumstance.  Do not allow any person to change the channel.  You would never allow someone to change the radio channel in your car, so do not allow them to change your “mind channel”!!  Never, ever give someone that much control over you!  You have what you need to be happy.  Go back and look over your list from the previous post (grateful list).  Look at what is right, not at what is wrong.  Look at what you do have, not at what you do not have.  Do not allow your negative thoughts to control your mind.  Much like you would pump up a teammate in a competition, do it for yourself!  It won’t always be easy – I get that.  However, don’t give away the power you have to be happy.

Until next time…..GO WELL!

Dream a little dream with me........to a better tomorrow

This has been an entry that I have been looking forward to writing, I will waste no time with a fancy intro.

If you are like me, the feeling of not getting to where you want or wanted to be in life has at some point arisen in your thoughts.  Where you are right now in life is a result of what your plan was a year ago.  The only chance you have at getting to a different place begins with changing the way you think.  It is a choice that is all yours.  You have the choice to change the way your mind looks at circumstances, the choice to control your thoughts.  Different thinking patterns will change your future.  Changing “there is no way I can handle this” or “I can’t do this” to “I will find a way” will have a tremendous affect on where you are one year from now.

One major realization that I would like you to make is: you can do or have anything you want.  I repeat, you can do or have anything you want.  So many of us have been told “you can’t do this” or “you won’t be able to do that.”  If you are like me, you were told repeatedly that you were not good enough to do anything.  Forget all of that – it does not matter or mean a thing.  A good majority of the time it was only from someone who hated themselves or they were so miserable in their life, they wanted you to be where they are.  Unfortunately this includes loved ones.  This is one of the main reasons why it is imperative to surround yourself with positive and influential people.  Being around negative people can wreak havoc in your life and destroy the chances of you realizing your full potential.  Stay away from them!  My first stint in rehab, a counselor told me that out of all the patients, he knew I would be the first to fail.  I listened to him and did fail.  Thank God I eventually worked with someone who helped me see life in a different way.  If someone does tell you something negative, thank them for their unwanted opinion and move on!

In this entry we are only going to focus on the first step to realizing your ultimate everything and that first step is visualization.  Don’t make worry as to the “how’s”, just do the visualizing.  When done correctly, the "how" will make itself known (don’t say "how" am I going to go back to school or "how" am I going to own my own business, etc.).  From the time I can earliest remember, I wanted to bowl and be a star on the Professional Bowlers Tour.  Once I read a baby book comment that described a four year old Anthony that threw across the room any birthday present that wasn’t bowling related.  It was my first and only dream.  When the car accident was followed by the pain med addiction, the dream was taken away and life was meaningless to me.  Getting a taste of that dream only made it worse.  For ten years I danced with the devil.  Year after year I was in the same place because the only thing that played in my mind was that I couldn’t get clean, or I didn’t have the strength or know how to do it.  Even worse, I let myself think I wasn’t good enough to do anything else and I deserved what I was going through.  Once I made the commitment to get clean and was given the proper tools to begin life anew, I was able to make some sense of life again and found myself slowly beginning to have aspirations come to the surface.  With the help of some great people, I was able to change “there is no way I can get clean” into “I will be drug free” and “there is no way I can be a student again” turned into “I will be a college graduate.”  You see, there is always a way.  The way may not be easy, but it does exist.  When I think back five to six year ago, so many obstacles jumped in the way, but I made a promise to myself to never again say “no way” and to never again think I wasn’t deserving of whatever I wanted.  I left the last rehab facility with only the shirt on my back and the smallest piece of dignity.  However, I had a dream again and it led me to where I am now.  A very influential person in my life once shared a piece of paper with me that had the following on it:

·         After Fred Astaire’s first screen test with MGM, the talent director wrote the following memo: “Can’t act, can’t sing.  Slightly bald….can dance a little.”  Fred Astaire kept this memo and eventually framed and hung it above the fireplace in his Beverly Hills home.

·         Winston Churchill failed the sixth grade.  He was defeated in every election for public office until he became Prime Minister at age 62.

·         Thomas Edison’s teacher once wrote on his report card that he was “too stupid to learn anything.”  He was fired from jobs for being non-productive and had 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb.  When asked what it was like to fail 1,000 times, he replied, “I didn’t.  The light bulb was an invention with 1,001 steps.”

·         Abraham Lincoln failed as a businessman, a lawyer, was defeated for six different attempts at public office, and went bankrupt.  In 1858, he wrote a friend, “I am now the most miserable man living.”  He would become president just a few years later.

·         Babe Ruth hit 714 home runs, but struck out 1,330 times in his career.  Some say winners make the most errors.

·         Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because he felt Disney lacked in imagination and had not one good idea.  Walt went bankrupt several times before he built Disneyland.  The city of Anaheim (home of Disneyland) even rejected the proposed park on grounds that it would attract “riffraff”.  One interesting note: Walt wouldn’t hire Charles Schultz (Peanuts creator).  Schultz had every cartoon rejected by his high school yearbook and local paper.

You will never be a failure unless you give up.  Sure you will have temporary setbacks that everyone experiences.  Chalk them up as life lessons.  For successful people, failure is the fuel to do more.  As you read this, I am working on the dream that has been with me since the day I left rehab (the last one (:  ).  Have most turned away their ear? I could list them.  Have doors been shut? Many.  But, I have visualized it and will not take no for an answer.  The rest of the regimen is worked on each day.  I won’t be one of those people who give up just before it was about to happen.  And never again will I give satisfaction to the people who said I couldn't do it - I urge you to do the same.

In the following posts, I will help you map out the basic steps to realizing your dream.  I dare you to do this with me.  I dare you to yearn for what you were meant to be!  As Mama Cass once sang, I want you to “dream a little dream for me.”  Begin now.  Start writing and do it now.  Channel the mind of a child.  Don’t worry about the categories or how you will accomplish any of it.  Just write it out.  We will work on the rest in the next post.  Just do it!  This could be the start of something big!

Go Well.....Anthony

Please feel free to add comments or you can personally email me.  I look forward to hearing from you.