Take Off What You Are Wearing !

I love what I do.  I love having the opportunity to work with individuals; finding out who and what they were created to be.  The downside of what I do is the first hand witnessing of the emotional wounds people allow others to inflict on them.  Much like many of the remarkable people I work with, for too long I allowed people to label me.  Nothing is worse than when we allow another to put a label on us - saying what we can or can not do or who we are or are not.  There are times when the label may be positive, such as words of encouragement.  However, the negative labels do the damage.  The worst part about it is you can not stop them and you can not prevent them.  

A newspaper editor once told a man named Walt Disney he wasn’t creative enough, that he lacked in imagination.  An acting teacher once told a young girl by the name of Lucille Ball that she didn’t have any acting skills; it was best she try a different profession.  Winston Churchill was held back in the sixth grade because he wasn’t smart enough.  Well, we know all know how Disney, Lucille Ball, and Churchill turned out! The common denominator in the triumphs and victories of these individuals was the ability to remove the negative label.

Before heading out on the Professional Bowlers Tour in 1997, more people than I choose to remember told me I would fail.  I was told I wasn’t good enough and there wasn’t any chance I could “compete”.  Those were the labels people attempted to put on me.  I was already insecure, but at the time I did not realize it’s just how the enemy works - keeping you from reaching your highest potential.  Discouragement, intimidation - the words become like seeds and if you dwell on them they will take root.  Winning on the professional level helped hush those critics!  Then came the labels of addict and junkie.  Once again I had to work hard at removing the negative labels and it has never been easy.  The thoughts play over and over again in your mind like a skipping record.  “You don’t have what it takes.”  Getting the label off is much like taking a Clinton/Gore bumper sticker off a car today.  You peel it, you need water, soap, and it still never wants to come off.  Finally I removed the label and was able to put new ones on.  My favorite is “I can do all things”.

Wrong labels will keep you from living the life you are meant to live.  You are not who others say you are, you are who YOU say you are.  People will always say you aren’t good enough, too old, too many faults.  Do not live another day allowing someone else to define who you are.  I have worked with so many individuals who wear the labels others have given them and love their life accordingly.  They become who someone says they are, when the truth is they are strong, talented, and valuable!

What labels are holding you back?  Maybe a teacher, coach, loved one, or even a parent spoke something to you.   Now is the time to remove the label.  Others do not control your destiny - you do!  Stop giving vindication to the comments.  It simply is not the truth and once you realize this, the label will no longer have an affect.  The only way anyone can limit you is if you wear the label.  So many people continue to wear labels such as divorced and live with the thought they will never find anyone.  Or the label of overweight and live with the thought they will never be in shape.  So many have listened to someone label them as addict and live with the thought they will never break the disease.  You will become the label you wear - it is inevitable.  It is why so many people struggle with addiction because they wear the label of addict.  If you think you are an addict, you have already lost the fight!  Change the label to you are clean, you are in recovery.  Do not live another day wearing a label someone else put on you, write your own label.  Just because someone spoke it over you does not mean it is the truth.  You have the right gifts, the right personality, the right skin color.  You are not an accident.  You were made perfect by your Creator to do what it is you were meant to do!  You were not created as just one of the six billion people on Earth or created just to be average.  Your smile, your gift…..all of it was made for your destiny.  Nobody else can offer what you offer!  If you continue to think you are just average, you will live an average life.  If you are going to be all you were meant to be, the first thing you must do is remove the label.  Nothing that has happened to you or spoken to you should keep you from your destiny.  No matter what mistakes or situations you have been in, shake off the self-pity, quit dwelling on what mom, dad, or your cynical husband, or wife has said to you.  People can call you whatever they like.  You are not what people call you, you are only what you answer to.  Remove the label and watch the bondages disappear!

Stay hungry!

Changing The "Mind Channel" On Your Radio

In a recent session with a client, we discussed his excitement to be moving into a new apartment.  What was amazing was the fact he had yet to be inside the apartment!  He had never stepped foot inside the door and it did not matter.  It did not matter if it was too big or too small, whether the paint matched his furniture, whether the carpet was nice, or if he had a tub versus a standing shower.  He had already made the decision that he was going to be happy because he had a place of his own and it was new.  What a fantastic outlook on life that each of us can learn from.

One of the many great entities I have learned over the last five to six years is that there is a choice.  Each day there is a choice to be one way or the other – either happy or miserable.  We all face many challenges and trials each day, but how you choose to respond is what you have control over.  Do not allow the negative thought train to gain momentum.  Yes, traffic may be bad, your boss may tack on additional work to your already overloaded agenda, but do not allow such circumstances to rule you.  Each day I talk with people who allow their day to be ruined because their plan did not go accordingly, somebody did not respond to their Facebook message quick enough, or several other silly reasons.  Dwelling on thoughts such as these is a guarantee of a lousy day.

Happiness is something that you have to want and we all have things to be happy about.  You may just have to a make a slight mind readjustment.  In the last post, I wrote about being grateful for what you do have in life.  Adding the “gratefulness” to the adjustment and you certainly have a good start to change.  For example, I do not think a day has passed that I have not heard someone express how miserable they are in their job.  However, have a quick chat with the nearly 10% of the population that is unemployed – listen to what life is life without a paycheck and it typically leads to being grateful for even having a job!  Recently a good friend was venting about her family’s home being too large, it was too much work to keep clean.  Sit and chat with a family that lost their home to foreclosure or a family of five living in a one bedroom apartment and the realization can begin.   Most often, happiness lies in your perspective on life.

Quite often I recall a moment from about ten years ago (in my active addiction). I had been distraught about a bunch of nothing and I could feel the “pi$$ed off” expression on my face.  I can still feel that.  I realized that it took much more effort to keep that expression, much like the effort it takes to constantly dwell on the negatives in life.  I can promise you one thing – if you use half of that exertion for the flip side, for looking at the good, you will be astounded of how differently your life will begin a transformation.  It is just a minor adjustment that leads to better opportunity, new people, healthier living, and just an all-around better attitude.

I invite you to try something tomorrow morning: Set your “mind dial” on the positive channel.  Make the decision to start the day in a good mood.  Give thanks for being alive!  Whatever happens throughout the course of the day, do not allow your mind to be dependent on the circumstance.  Do not allow any person to change the channel.  You would never allow someone to change the radio channel in your car, so do not allow them to change your “mind channel”!!  Never, ever give someone that much control over you!  You have what you need to be happy.  Go back and look over your list from the previous post (grateful list).  Look at what is right, not at what is wrong.  Look at what you do have, not at what you do not have.  Do not allow your negative thoughts to control your mind.  Much like you would pump up a teammate in a competition, do it for yourself!  It won’t always be easy – I get that.  However, don’t give away the power you have to be happy.

Until next time…..GO WELL!